Polalion

I fail

2010-10-21T02:01:00.003+08:00

I tried to do it today but all I could do was get stumped and let the small window slip by. I thought it was a good date, being "special" and everything.

There are plenty of chances in the future I suppose, but it made me realise how wimpy I am. I could give the excuse that it'll technically be the first time I would ever do this, but still.

"Ohmanohmanohmanohmanup" indeed.

What do you mean it's been 5 months?

2010-08-31T23:33:00.002+08:00

So I realise, about five minutes ago, that I haven't updated this dusty piece of crap in a really long time. So let's do it.

What has happened to me so far? I've recently passed two more ACCA papers, making me a Level 1. So I guess that means I can find an entry level job or something. Yay.

I've been reassigned in camp. Long story short, I'm being assigned to clean up shit some irresponsible idiot left behind.

I went to Vietnam. Spent a huge portion of my savings for it. With friends I haven't even known for a year. And ended up being either one of the best or worst decisions I have ever made in my life so far. It was a trip for the ages, the stories I could tell could last me fifteen whole minutes. But honestly, there were so many new experiences and the things I learnt from them are pretty much priceless.

I'm now about five months away from my ORD. I was walking back to Simei MRT from Changi General earlier today when I started thinking about it. What the hell am I going to do when the time comes? There are so many permutations and none of them appeals to me. All of them suck, and unless I manage to magically become rich, famous or beautiful they're just going to keep sucking like high power vacuum cleaners.

But I guess it's something for when it comes, and I think I'll decide on one of my options (or have it decided for me) by the time it arrives.

For now, I have a very complicated matter of the heart that I should probably settle soon. It's been lingering for the past three or so years but it finally went critical on my mind a few months ago. It's complicated because... It's complicated. I could make myself lose that circle of friends or it could something to laugh about in the future. As far as experiences go, my lousy reflex causes the first to happen, and it's already happened a few times.

I hope nobody sees this.

Maybe I don't have to hope, I doubt anybody has been here in a while.

Hurray dip doo

2010-03-21T07:46:00.002+08:00

I fell asleep too early, destroying my plan for an all nighter. Then I woke up in the middle of the night because of a cramp. I overslept by an hour.

And now I am on a cab to camp.

The day can only get better.

So not super, dude.

2010-02-07T22:55:00.002+08:00

I don't get this whole craze with SNSD really.

In fact, I don't get the whole Korean craze at all.

Most of them don't look half decent to begin with.

For actors it's shitty dramas again and again. It's like all they have to do is take out a dartboard and start throwing them towards about four different predetermined plot points and themes and mix them up together.

For singers, their entire repertoire of songs were written for the single purpose of being catchy, and none of them makes any real sense whatsoever. The dances are cheap and simple, there are so many of them so it's very unlikely you will like at least one of them, and then there is the gimmick merchandising like photo cards for fans to collect or trade for the ones they want.

My god. I know what it is now.

It's a mature, high budget children's TV show.

Think about it. Catchy tunes that don't mean shit, easy to learn dances...

It's Hi-5 for teenage boys!

One year

2010-01-31T22:22:00.002+08:00

So it's been a year since I enlisted.

It feels like last week, to be honest. Things like that tend to be.

I would like to think that I have become more of a person than I was a year ago.

I have opened my eyes to so many things. The actions or decisions of some people I was surprised with, the others not so much.

Perhaps the most important skill I've picked up in the last few years was learning how to say "no".

Or it was saying "yes".

Maybe it was adjusting what I'd say to different things.

Because it's definitely changed.

Time for an update

2009-12-29T16:40:00.002+08:00

It's the last week of my MC. So many things to do, and it's almost half gone.

I finished my epic weekend. It was 4 nights out in a row, with different people in different settings doing different things.

Some for the first time. Some not. Some I probably shouldn't have done. Some I probably shouldn't do again. Some I wouldn't regret. Some I might.

In any case, what's done is done.

2010 awaits.

Time passes so quickly

2009-12-19T11:51:00.001+08:00

Only 2 weeks left. If only this lasted forever.

Well, at least it was in the best month possible.

So yay.

The weekends are over

2009-12-07T13:00:00.002+08:00

And I don't have to care.

In exchange, I get to feel giddy all day.

Exams are in two days. I should start revising.

*gasp* What am I saying? I don't study!

Doesn't mean I shouldn't.

I feel nauseous

2009-12-04T23:22:00.000+08:00

I shall go to bed now.

Tomorrow is the day

2009-12-01T21:36:00.001+08:00

I will have my first major surgery.

So unprepared. So scared. So nervous.

So excited.

One more month

2009-11-01T11:12:00.000+08:00

Oh... It'll be good.

It's almost September

2009-08-16T08:24:00.000+08:00

August started shitty. Then it got a little better. I'm still waiting for it to get awesome.

July

2009-07-08T22:27:00.001+08:00

June was a pretty bad month.

Oh look, GST credits!

Pay day's in 2 days.

Yum.

Only

2009-05-30T12:27:00.000+08:00

A week away.

Hay guise

2009-04-14T22:56:00.001+08:00

Oh lookie here.

I have a blog.

So anyway I am now an officially trained supply assistant for ammunition aka ammo storeman.

Hoping for a slot in the overseas exercise, or a nice stay in place like Tekong or maybe Hendon just to get the red beret and piss off every muscle head I know.

See you guys in another month or so.

Ammo Man

2009-03-26T20:54:00.001+08:00

I is it.

Bullets, grenades, mortars, rockets, missiles, the works.

Army Man

2009-02-13T19:11:00.000+08:00

I am it.

It's ok la. I'm not supposed to blog about it but OH COME ON.

First book out woot.

Ok bye guys.

Barack Obama

2009-01-21T01:05:00.000+08:00

Is now president.

I have

2009-01-16T03:25:00.000+08:00

More than 200 friends on Facebook.

How many matter?

Fuck Facebook

2009-01-13T04:57:00.002+08:00

My latest foray into the social site involves making some searches with a really old book in my hand. Never thought I'll come back to this.

Sometimes you keep thinking about the choices you make in life and how they change you.

My own sister's at a point right now where she has to make a choice, like I did almost four years ago. Then I thought about choices from even further back.

Ten years ago. The year after. Two more after.

What if I went elsewhere? What if I stayed?

A headache.

The only thing I should think about now is the army. Nothing else matters anyway. Nothing will change.

Just some stuff

2009-01-12T00:10:00.002+08:00

First of all, I'm never ordering Pizza De France again.

I'm watching Kyle XY and so far it's been rather inconsistent. Less touchy feely stuff, even less girl fight gossip shit, more Kyle being awesome please.

And I'm on Facebook now.

Dammit.

Thanks

2009-01-08T02:12:00.003+08:00

To the maybe five of you who actually cares.

I'm slowly recovering, thankfully.

Hope it gets even better the next few weeks.

The Day

2009-01-04T23:42:00.000+08:00

It can never come fast enough.

First

2009-01-01T20:50:00.002+08:00

Just another day.

Cleaning out my closet

2008-12-31T01:47:00.002+08:00

I spent half of Sunday night (well into Monday morning) just cleaning out my room and throwing out junk. The resulting trash I took out amounted to about three average supermarket plastic bags and a really big one. I now have a cupboard above me and a drawer below me that are empty. Also, a lot of space are freed up elsewhere, and now to the part where I think about what to put in those places.

Some of the stuff are actually old and broken and I've been hoarding them just because I'm either hoping they'll work again or because I was too lazy before. Saw this Oprah episode once (Don't. Start.) where there was this old couple who hoarded so much stuff their entire house was filled with junk they wouldn't throw away. They cleaned it out and had enough to display in about half a Suntec exhibition hall.

Have I mentioned that I will be entering the army next month? In four weeks I will be hauling my ass to Tekong for BMT, and if this back doesn't heal up by then I'm in for a world of pain.

The ol' debate team had a gathering on Saturday, and it went well. I did my best to turn up in something that fit the theme, but it seemed only a few of us took it seriously. I brought my Wii so we played some Mario Kart, and then we went on the main event: Taboo. So it happens we didn't get to talk so much this year, so some people are looking at having another one soon. Gabby uploaded all the pics onto Facebook (curses!) and refuses to send them to me.

I shall find another way. You'll see.

Look! Christmas is coming!

2008-12-24T03:52:00.001+08:00

What should I do?

I know, buy some presents.

For myself.

Improvements

2008-12-23T03:59:00.002+08:00

I see them.

Also, Cat has told me that 'Allo 'Allo! is shown on okto on Monday nights. Sounds awesome but it'll be too slow for me.

Cheerio!

'Allo 'Allo!

2008-12-20T17:04:00.004+08:00

I've been watching an old English comedy series called 'Allo 'Allo.

It's an awesome show if you haven't see it, some episodes and clips are on Youtube so it's easy to go check it out.

Below is a clip, enjoy.

*****

News

2008-12-16T16:31:00.002+08:00

Guys, I have good news and bad news.

Before that, let me just tell you that if you ever encounter mornings at home where somebody in the building is doing wall drilling and is driving you insane, blasting music into your ears is a good way to let you go back to sleep again. Just saying.

So, the news.

Good news is, I don't have to wait for three months to go into service.

Bad news is, I go in on the third day of Chinese New Year.

CMPB never fails to disappoint.

Regret

2008-12-16T05:00:00.004+08:00

A part of me just died. I think I killed it.

It's going to cost me more than I can afford to bring it back to life, and now I'm faced with a dilemma. Do I bring it back? Will it cost me less to ignore what has happened, or more?

Excuse me... I have some thinking to do.

If 'Twilight' Was 10 Times Shorter And 100 Times More Honest

2008-12-14T05:09:00.003+08:00

FADE IN:

EXT. WASHINGTON

KRISTEN STEWART goes to FORKS, WASHINGTON.

KRISTEN STEWART (V.O.)

Once upon a time, there lived an enchanting girl named Stephanie Meyer, er I mean Kristen Stewart. She was so awesome that her awesomeness couldn't be contained in Arizona, so she moved to Washington to stay with her father, who was totally lame and not cool.

BILLY BURKE

Hey honey. I'm super lame. I got you a car, but it's totally uncool because I'm totally uncool.

KRISTEN STEWART

Thanks Dad, or whatever. Time for my first day at a new school. Since every coming-of-age story requires the main character be a social outcast, I suppose I'll have to endure being the unpopular new girl until I do something that proves my worth.

KRISTEN goes to school and is INSTANTLY POPULAR AND BELOVED.

ANNA KENDRICK

Oh my God I love your hair you're so pretty will you be my new best friend?

GREGORY TYREE BOYCE

Can I take you out sometime since you're so awesome?

MICHAEL WELCH

No way you asshole, I saw her first!

KRISTEN STEWART

I'd rather watch "The Messengers" than date either of you. Why don't you go ask Anna instead?

ANNA KENDRICK

Ohmigod I'm getting Kristen's rejects, that's so awesome!

KRISTEN STEWART

Wow. I guess this is what it looks like when the unpopular fat girl's pathetic daydreams get written down and published into a bestselling book. Aren't well-written characters supposed to have flaws?

ANNA KENDRICK

Flaws? Oh, well, um, I suppose you could argue that you're a little TOO perfect and amazing. But I don't think so. Let's make out.

Suddenly, ROBERT PATTINSON enters. The paleness of him and his family members reach blinding levels while the squeals in the movie theater reach deafening levels.

KRISTEN STEWART

Who's the albino Wolverine?

ANNA KENDRICK

Oh, him? That's Robert. He's universally acknowledged as the hottest boy in school but he doesn't date anyone because no girl is good enough for him.

KRISTEN STEWART

No girl is good enough for him? Man, the excuses closeted homosexuals come up with these days...

KRISTEN sits next to ROBERT, who nearly vomits in his mouth and leaves school for a week. Eventually, he returns.

KRISTEN STEWART

Hey, where did you go? Because you are exceedingly mean to me, I find myself attracted to you.

ROBERT PATTINSON

Sounds like textbook daddy issues, you fat cow.

KRISTEN STEWART

(swoon)

ROBERT PATTINSON

You have a bright career as a stripper ahead of you.

ROBERT and KRISTEN continue not quite interacting with each other and having no chemistry what-so-ever.

KRISTEN STEWART

Hey, your eyes are changing color from gorgeous to ultragorgeous. What's going on?

ROBERT PATTINSON

Alright, you got me. I was acting like a jerk because I secretly totally love you.

KRISTEN STEWART

Of course! This also explains why the captain of the football team always acted like he hated Stephanie Meyer!

ROBERT PATTINSON

There's more. I want to eat you.

KRISTEN STEWART

Holy shit, really? I need to go home and do some waxing first, but...

ROBERT PATTINSON

No, I mean literally eat you. I'm a vampire.

KRISTEN STEWART

Hmm. The only way I will believe you is if you carry me up a mountain using special effects from the 70s.

He DOES.

KRISTEN STEWART

You really are a vampire! Does that mean that garlic, stakes, and sunlight kill you?

ROBERT PATTINSON

Don't be stupid. All of that lore is far too interesting for this movie. Being a vampire just means I get superpowers. It's like being Spider-Man, but sexier. Also, I sparkle in the sunlight.

KRISTEN STEWART

So that's why why your family moved here, because it's always overcast!

ROBERT PATTINSON

That's right everyone, this whole movie is a two-hour-long setup for a joke about the Pacific Northwest.

KRISTEN STEWART

So if you're immortal, how old are you anyway?

ROBERT PATTINSON

Over a hundred, but to be fair I've spent most of that time working on my hair.

The two of them GAZE into each other's eyes with UNCOMFORTABLY HUGE CLOSEUPS for 80% of the rest of the movie.

INT. KRISTEN'S BEDROOM

KRISTEN wakes up to find ROBERT watching her sleep.

KRISTEN STEWART

Holy fucking shit! If you weren't so hot I'd have you arrested! How long have you been doing this?

ROBERT PATTINSON

2 months.

KRISTEN STEWART

But I've only lived here one month according to the script.

ROBERT PATTINSN

Yeah, the script was written in six weeks. Don't get hung up on shit like that.

KRISTEN STEWART

Oh. Well, as long as you're here I guess we could have sex.

ROBERT PATTINSON

No, I can't have sex with you! I'd be unable to control myself! I'd bite you and turn you into a vampire! Also I ejaculate boiling venom, so I'd need to wear like fifty condoms.

KRISTEN STEWART

Wait, we can't have sex at all, and you can't suck my blood? How can you make a vampire movie without anyone sucking blood?

ROBERT PATTINSON

It's alright, I think this movie already has more than enough sucking.

INT. BILLY BURKE'S HOUSE

BILLY BURKE is cleaning his gun and drinking a beer while listening to country music.

KRISTEN STEWART

Dad, my boyfriend is coming over to pick me up. Try not to get dork all over him.

BILLY BURKE

Okay, let me meet him after the movie makes the film industry's ten billionth joke about protective fathers disliking boyfriends.

KRISTEN STEWART

Alright. Oh, and also: He's a 100-year-old vampire, don't say anything racist about vampires, okay?

ROBERT PATTINSON

Hello, sir. It's a pleasure to meet you, Kristen has said absolutely nothing about you because you're so lame.

BILLY BURKE

So I hear you're a 100-years-old. And interested in my 17-year-old daughter. So, mathematically that's like, what, a 40-year-old dating a 6-year-old?

ROBERT PATTINSON

Ummmmmmmm...

BILLY BURKE

Yeah, so my friend Chris Hansen would like you to have a seat right over here.

KRISTEN STEWART

Dad, you're embarrassing me almost as much as my acting! I'm just going over to his house to have dinner with his family, I'll be back before 11. Unless the ravenous vampires murder me, of course.

BILLY BURKE

Alright, just bring this pepper spray with you. It's literally the very least I can do to offer it to my teenage daughter.

KRISTEN STEWART

Daaaaad! Stop being such a loser, I don't need this!

BILLY BURKE

Really? Weren't you almost raped by four guys earlier in the movie?

KRISTEN STEWART

Yeah but I have a BOYFRIEND now, which means I no longer have to be independent or physically capable of doing anything on my own. GOD!

ROBERT and KRISTEN go to visit ROBERT'S FAMILY MANSION in the middle of the woods, because of course the FANTASY MALE should be rich, too.

INT. GLASS MANSION

KRISTEN meets ROBERT'S VAMPIRE FAMILY.

KRISTEN STEWART

Jesus, this place is paler than an Anne Rice book signing event. At least it doesn't smell as bad.

PETER FACINELLI

Welcome to our ridiculously expensive home. I'm the father figure of this family because I'm the one who turned them all into vampires. There's something disturbing about the idea that I've only turned teenagers into vampires, but let's ignore that.

KRISTEN STEWART

Wow, you guys are so close. What keeps this family together so well?

PETER FACINELLI

Funny you should ask. Let me tell you about Count Joseph Von Smith. One day a vampire named Moronula appeared to him and told him to find these golden stakes buried in a coffin...

NIKKI REED

Knock it off, dad. So, Kristen, there must be something really special about you for Robert to take such a liking to you and risk the lives of his entire family. Tell us about yourself.

KRISTEN STEWART

Me? Oh, no. I'm just a hollow placeholder for all of the teenage girls in the audience to project their personalities onto. I have none of my own whatsoever.

NIKKI REED

Oh. Well what do you like to do for fun?

KRISTEN STEWART

Mostly smoke pot on my porch in front of the paparazzi. What about you guys?

PETER FACINELLI

Vampire baseball.

KRISTEN STEWART

Ha ha, no seriously.

PETER FACINELLI

Really. Vampire baseball. We even have uniforms. Want to come watch us play?

KRISTEN STEWART

Actually, as it happens, the very last thing on Earth I or any other sane person would want to watch is vampire baseball, but go ahead.

They play vampire baseball, which looks exactly as stupid as it sounds to all of the males in the audience. The game attracts the attention of some EVIL VAMPIRES, who actually do the type of shit vampires are supposed to, like fucking kill boring humans. One of them, CAM GIGANDET, notices KRISTEN.

CAM GIGANDET

Oh man, that looks great, are you gonna finish that?

ROBERT PATTINSON

Stay away from her or my family will have to kill you. Specifically, we'll have to hiss at you like fifth graders pretending to be Dracula, and then kill you.

CAM GIGANDET

Murder, eh? That's one hell of a family activity. My family usually just plays Scrabble.

PETER FACINELLI

The family that slays together, stays together.

CAM tries to eat KRISTEN, a poorly directed action sequence ensues, and eventually he is defeated.

PETER FACINELLI

Kristen's been bitten! She'll be turned into a vampire within minutes unless you suck the venom out! I can't do it for some reason or another.

ROBERT PATTINSON

Since the whole novel this is based on is just Mormon propaganda for abstinence and bloodsucking is a metaphor for sex, what exactly is this advocating?

PETER FACINELLI

Look, all I know is that even though it's going to be REALLY HARD, you're just going to have to PULL OUT of her before CLIMAX. The climax of the movie, I mean.

He DOES. It's very DISSATISFYING.

INT. HOSPITAL

KRISTEN wakes up in the hospital, and ROBERT wakes up after her.

KRISTEN STEWART

I thought vampires never slept.

ROBERT PATTINSON

Script. Six weeks. Remember?

KRISTEN STEWART

Right. Well, thanks for saving my life after endangering it by inviting me into your dangerous world. Let's go to the prom together.

ROBERT PATTINSON

Actually, I think it would be better if we broke up. To keep you safe.

KRISTEN STEWART

From vampires?

ROBERT PATTINSON

No, from being typecast forever after this series is done. I'm screwed, but it's not too late for you.

KRISTEN STEWART

No. No, you can't ever leave me. Never. No matter what. We must be together forever and ever and ever.

ROBERT PATTINSON

Holy shit, you're a clingy psychotic bitch. Maybe we have a realistic high school relationship after all.

They stay together and go to the PROM.

KRISTEN STEWART

I want you to make me a vampire so that I can be with you, even if it means sacrificing my own life as a mortal.

ROBERT PATTINSON

So, the next generation of young women are currently flocking to see a female lead starring in a movie by a female director based on a bestselling book by a female author, and in this movie the main character wants to become completely submissive and self-sacrificing for a male.

KRISTEN STEWART

I love you. Put a baby in me.

ROBERT PATTINSON

At least the other three books can't possibly be more misogynistic and depressing.

They ARE.

END

******

Source: Cracked.com

It gets to you

2008-12-12T03:22:00.002+08:00

Both Joseph and John are heading in later today. Best of luck you guys.

You know the first thing I did when I woke up? Push a lunch invitation. From a girl.

I'm beginning to hate myself more and more.

Here we go again

2008-12-10T22:49:00.002+08:00

Guess what guys! I'm officially a PES C man!

I'm also going to be delayed till the next intake so fuck you, Mindef.

Chop Stamp

2008-12-05T18:58:00.002+08:00

I think it's pretty much confirmed that I'm suffering from a slipped disc.

It's been improving the past week or so, and hopefully it gets better over time, though unlikely.

I think a lot of people would say that this opportunity to down PES is a valuable one, but I have always thought going in for physical training was the one I was looking forward to more. It's PES BP after all, so it wouldn't be that bad. Heard so much about Eagle Company from the guys.

Anyway, I'll be waiting for a reply from CMPB soon, so I can get to see an MO before next Saturday.

Wish me luck.

Legend

2008-11-28T14:44:00.000+08:00

I was on a Wikipedia Related Articles Trail earlier last night, and eventually I came back to the page of a certain person.

Turns out that 68 years ago yesterday, a legend was born.

He would have been this old too, but was only 32 when he died.

Claustrophobia Sets In

2008-11-27T00:32:00.002+08:00

I went for my first ever MRI in my life today, and I must say it was quite an experience. Didn't need contrast material because it didn't have to be go too detailed. The machine itself was a lot smaller than I had previously imagined (from watching too much House) and I almost couldn't fit.

By the time I got in I was staring at a plastic ceiling with a speaker about 5 cm from my face, and it kind of felt like a coffin. I had to stay really still but my breaths started getting heavier.

This is probably the first time I have ever truly felt what claustrophobia was like, and I must say it's not nice at all. Hopefully I'll never have to do that again.

I was recently introduced to a show by John, a biopic about Chinese martial art folk action movie hero Bruce Lee. Since streaming from a Chinese site sucked like a cheap whore (pardon the expression), I went out and got myself the DVDs.

It's something I could spend my time on, beyond the re-dubbing, lousy acting by the angmohs and the songs that were so full of cheese they actually became full of win.

Pity I couldn't write more because I've been actively trying to numb myself lately, spending over two thirds of a day lying down somewhere because sitting too long brings the pain in the ass back, so I'll start writing meaningful stuff when I stop walking like an ah peh.

Or you could say I never wrote anything meaningful before so it would be a good start.

Excerpt from the past

2008-11-20T22:08:00.001+08:00

"Monday, Apr. 07, 2003 - 23:43

Dear Diary,

My sister has been here since after dinner until just now. So only NOW I get to use the computer.

Two more people died from Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome today. A Tan Tock Seng Hospital cardiological doctor died because of previous contact with an infected person. Another one is a nurse I think... Or family of one... Not to sure. What's more, all the 7 cases of new infections today are nurses. And one of them was from a private clinic. Getting more and more scary, this virus.

Also saw that U.S. troops entered central Baghdad. The war should be over by this weekend. Thank goodness. But they're still unsure whether Saddam Hussein and Chemical Ali are still alive though. If they are, they should be on their way to launch their chemical missiles. If they aren't, the war is over already.

Hope this world gets better. Soon. Enough.

Signing out,

Polalion"

****

Brings me back.

Playing 30 questions again

2008-11-20T21:55:00.003+08:00

1) Where is the person you want most?
Probably at work. At home. Who knows?

2) Where will you be 2 hours from now?
Just about coming back in to my room.

3) Did your last kiss mean anything?
Nope. No kiss.

4) Does your ex miss you?
...I don't think so.

5) Does anyone love you?
Sure, why not.

6) What are you doing tomorrow?
Just taking things one day at a time.

7) Are you easily confused?
Usually by myself.

8) Do you think you would make a good boyfriend/girlfriend?
Depends. Never tried.

9) Where were you at 9am this morning?
Sleeping. Thankfully.

10) Do you fall for people easily?
Very.

11) Everything happens for a reason?
Of course.

12) What does your last text message read?
"Wanna play DnD?"

13) What are you listening to right now?
Paradise City - Guns N Roses

14) How was the week so far?
Could be better.

15) Is there something you wish you could tell someone but can't?
So, so many.

16) Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
Can I put "N/A"?

17) Do you sleep with the TV on?
Never.

18) Are you too forgiving?
Depends.

19) Have you ever wanted to be a fire fighter?
Not that I can remember.

20) Who do you miss?
So many people.

21) What was the last thing you put in your mouth?
An apple. Well not the whole thing. You know what I mean.

22) What are you stressed out about?
The pain in my back.

23) Do you have anything in your pockets right now?
Empty.

24) What do you do mostly in your free time?
Do random stuff on the internet. Watch American TV (the good parts).

25) In the past week have you gotten sick?
Depends on whether you call a slipped disc "sick".

26)Who was your last call from?
Cat.

27) What can't you wait for?
To be able to walk straight again.

28) On a scale of 1-10 How good is life?
Right now? I'd say about 4. 5 if I'm watching Dexter. Only because it can be so much better.

29) Are you a high-maintenance?
Quite, actually. But it usually never turns out to be material. Just ask my parents.

30) Are you happy with the way life is?
There's definitely room for improvement, that's all I'm saying.

Being stuck at home

2008-11-14T00:42:00.002+08:00

Sucks.

30 Rock is an awesome show by the way. So is Dexter.

Two totally different shows, but equally as awesome. Get around to watch them when you're also unemployed and stuck at home involuntarily due to a back injury that presses a nerve which causes immense pain in the leg.

Well have fun!

I Don't Want To Set The World On Fire

2008-11-10T18:30:00.000+08:00

Football

2008-11-08T20:23:00.003+08:00

Earlier today...

Two halves and seven minutes of added time later...

Read this or you will get X years of bad luck

2008-10-27T13:34:00.003+08:00

I'm sure that you, at any point in your life on the internet, have come across one of those e-mails that tell you to make a wish or answer some questions, and then telling you to forward it or suffer years of bad luck?

I've been wondering how these years of bad luck stack. Do they run simultaneously or add together? If I get 7 years from this one and 4 years from another, do I ultimately get 4 really bad ones followed by 3 bad ones or do I get 11 years of bad total?

If it works like the law and imprisonment it's the latter, and that means I have roughly 150 more years of bad luck to go through before I see another day of average luck or good.

If it works the former, I should have died horribly a few years ago when everybody I knew started sending those around. Unless really, really bad luck was defined as something else that I have yet to find out about.

So if you're reading this, do me a favour. Stop sending those stupid e-mails that tell me what kind of girl I like based on what drink I like based on what colour I like, or what I'm like based on my horoscope, or that some girl was killed and the ghost will haunt me, or that some poor baby suffering from some weird sickness nobody has even heard of will get money if I mass forward the e-mail, or that it will make me Bill Gates' new BFF.

None of those are real. Please. Just stop. You would expect that in this day and age the level of ignorance would be lower but the real world only makes your expectations drop again and again.

Dry eyes

2008-10-26T04:12:00.003+08:00

~(*_*)~

/eyedrop

\(-O-)/

BTW tag plz kthx

Reverse

2008-10-24T17:57:00.002+08:00

So all of a sudden I'm back to a normal (or what passes for normal these days) biological clock, sleeping at 12 and waking up at 9.

I tried playing Bioshock again, and then halfway through I remembered how much I hated how the weapons worked in the game despite how I loved the rest of it

Then at one point I realised I missed a part and quit the game in my shame. So now I'm sitting here watching Lucky Star like an otaku.

Anyhow choose also can so zhun

2008-10-23T22:08:00.004+08:00

I'm not sure if I said this here before, but there was once when I was ordering pizza when I was sick of having to use my Chinese name so I just gave a random English name.

Turns out this random name ran through a random name analysis web program gave me some interesting results.

***

What Alan Means

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.

You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.

You have the classic “Type A” personality.

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.

You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.

Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.

You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.

You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

Oh yes and I reverted to Classic so the tagboard can be worked in. Tag me so I won't feel lonely.

Time to let go

2008-10-23T15:23:00.003+08:00

I realise that it's about time I buzz off. It's none of my business anymore, and I feel ridiculous.

Anyway, RA3 next Monday! George Takei woooooo

OMGLAZERPEWPEW

2008-10-21T15:06:00.003+08:00

It is my belief that today will be the last day in a long, long time that I will be wearing my spectacles.

I'm actually typing this at the clinic at Paragon on a Mac (of all things), so this is the absolute last. Surgery's in about an hour and I'd run far, far away if weren't for the annoying pain in my left hamstring.

In any case, I have my enlistment date, yay! It's on December 13, so if you think two weeks without me is two empty weeks, good luck to you.

I have to say I hate Macs. Fuck Apple, understand?

I'll see the rest of you later.

iSuck

2008-10-15T00:02:00.003+08:00

Considered buying the iPhone? Or any Apple product? Well consider this:

'Nuff said.

Pain In The Butt

2008-10-14T11:30:00.001+08:00

I have one.

A few, actually, but one very prominent one.

Ways of the Internet Lesson 1

2008-10-10T20:42:00.006+08:00

This is the beginning of a new series I'm working on that instructs all you readers on the many phenomenon that manifests from the great creation we call the internet, and appropriate actions or reactions upon witnessing such phenomena.

The first lesson is this:

Click on the link below.

Click Me!

Go ahead, don't be afraid. You must first give in to your fears before you can conquer it. There, there. That's a nice reader.
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You will find that you have been RickRoll'd.

The recommended immediate course of action is to follow what Captain Haddock did in the following illustration:

This concludes today's lesson.

Please continue to check back for our next lesson on how to react to shock sites, and have a pleasant day.

How did I do?

2008-10-02T19:54:00.002+08:00

I named 18 disney films in 7 minutes

I named 9 planets in 30 seconds

I named 30 US states in 10 minutes

I named 14 US presidents in 5 minutes

I named 11 organs in 4 minutes!

I named 11 best picture films in 5 minutes

Departed

2008-09-28T02:25:00.002+08:00

Another one was taken
Not by the savage claws of violence
Or the jaws of mishap laying in ambush
It was led away by a gentle hand
One that took things slowly but surely
And yet sometimes it hurts even more

The Professional

2008-09-22T14:23:00.003+08:00

"The rifle is the first weapon you learn how to use, because it lets you keep your distance from the client. The closer you get to being a pro, the closer you can get to the client. The knife, for example, is the last thing you learn."

- Leon

Who's F***ing Who

2008-09-11T22:24:00.002+08:00

First of all, consider this:

So you know people get angry and do really crazy stuff like this:

People retaliate sometimes you know? And this happened:

Familiar faces include Brad Pitt, Robin Williams, Don Cheadle, Lance Bass, Cameron Diaz and Harrison Ford.

What an epic love story this was. *wipes tear from eye*

Army

2008-09-10T21:30:00.002+08:00

It's been almost half a year since my medical at CMPB. Still no letter. I finally called them this afternoon and they told me enlistment is six to nine months from the medical.

"So that means I'm in the December one?"

"It's subjected to availability."

Can I get the custom bed, a personalised footlocker and Spiderman bedsheets too? Do you accept Visa?

People get letters for September intakes back in February. I'm still sitting on my ass waiting for the letter to tell me I'm a participant in Grampa Lee's survival game.

All I want to say right now is that all of this... Is full of fail.

Dreams

2008-09-08T18:25:00.003+08:00

Been getting some weird ones lately.

And thinking about all the kinds of things they mean.

It's not good.

Melancholy

2008-09-02T21:44:00.002+08:00

It's hard to keep a good outlook when everything starts screwing up.

Hope it changes for the better tomorrow.

It has been

2008-08-29T12:54:00.000+08:00

3 months
3 days

Fresh Faces

2008-08-25T11:12:00.000+08:00

Seven people just came in. Or maybe it was eight. They're sitting in front of me, but I can't be bothered to count. Who the hell has that kind of time? I was aiming to finish "S" by today but by the looks of it, not happening until tomorrow at least.

So who are the hell are these people? No clue. So far all they're doing is staring into the void that's in front of them. And looking around. And accidentally making eye contact with me when I look around. And then hating themselves. Sounds like a lot of fun.

Heard they're not even employees. Maybe students. Maybe interns. Ah ha! You! Puny intern! You can do the filing work. I'll file my nails. And blog. And try to figure out what the hell I'm doing filing my nails.

You know I have this strong urge to ask the one nearest to me what they are here for, but you know me. I've always been the shy type. I've got half guys half girls, and all of them look decent. Not a single bad looking one. Goes to show how likely it was I got my job through raw wit and charisma rather than looks. And yes, I said seven people. Means three and a half of each gender.

I take that back. I just called someone and forgot immediately why I called her. Clearly, one whole week of experience is not enough. I shall conquer you one day, short term memory loss!

So after sitting here and nothing for a while, someone came in and told them to go for lunch and come back at 1. I don't even need a punchline for this because it's that funny.

The funniest thing just happened to me. I was dozing off right. And somehow my fourth left finger was resting on 'z'. Feel free to guess.

I need coffee man. Someone get me some.

Poster Girl

2008-08-22T13:40:00.000+08:00

Has everyone seen this netball tournament poster that's on the walls of the MRT stations? Man I love that girl. I think her name is Lin Qiuyi. I don't even care where she's from or how old she is. For me, that face is to die for. Especially when it has went through Photoshop in the hands of an advertising agency employee.

So to something more serious: the government's new birth and childcare policies. The bonuses are awesome. Maternity and childcare leave, not so much.

I mean, let's take for example: you are a woman just got married and looking for a job to supplement the income of your new family.

You go for an interview for a permanent position, and then in the middle of the interview the interviewer notices your marriage status and asks you, "How many children do you intend to have?" You start thinking to yourself, isn't that a tad too personal a question?

So it might be not so likely as an actual scenario but you get my point right? Finding a permanent job as a woman is going to get incredibly tough from now on. I mean, can you just put yourself in an employer's position, and just think about what it's like paying someone to not be here for about a third of the year?

I don't care if the government would help me with some of it. Even if it's all of it, I'm still effectively throwing money away. Now that my regular is gone, first thing I have to do is to get my HR department to run an advertisement for a temp. And the temp would come in, and even fast learners have to spend about two weeks to sync in and find out what's going on.

Meanwhile I'm paying for both my perm on maternity and that temp. Then when the temp sets in by the end of the whole of the sixteen weeks, I have to get rid of her because my regular's coming back. Then the regular comes back, spends a week catching up for the last four months, and then proceed to taking her infant care leave randomly and give her colleagues massive headaches.

So say she already gave birth before joining. Kid's growing up, need more income. She comes in, she can take child leave and child MC, and I can't do anything about it because it's a couple of days is long but not long enough to warrant temporary replacements.

Tough being a woman man. But hey, anything they can get to be unreasonable bitches.

Path Of Least Resistance

2008-08-21T13:29:00.000+08:00

The title has nothing to do whatsoever with this post. It's just something that sounded cool.

Happy Birthday Gabby! If you're reading this, don't you have something else to do that's actually important?

Wipe that smile off your face, Cat. Yeah? You're smiling now. Don't laugh. It'll scare off my other readers.

I'm officially an office boy. I sit here the whole day handling obscene amounts of paper, typing occasionally, answering phonecalls and listening to Class 95. That's how you know. Your life now revolves around Glenn Ong, Flying Dutchman, Vernetta Lopez and Jean Danker. You're either an office boy or an English speaking taxi uncle.

Now back to sorting out the ridiculous amount of companies that start with "Al".

Spectator Sport

2008-08-20T23:20:00.003+08:00

So I was on my way home earlier on, and I whipped out my DS for some Tetris. I started playing the normal marathon mode, and then at I think it was Ang Mo Kio or Yio Chu Kang, some girl who boarded that stop was standing in front of me. I was looking down into my handheld, and then from the corner of my eye I saw her looking as well.

And now I'm technically performing. I'm playing, but now I also have a spectator. She would stare at it for a while, cocking her head a couple of times in reaction to some of the things I did and then would look away when she had to move for people getting off and stuff.

I was also listening to music on my handphone at the same time, and around when Motorhead's Ace of Spades came on I started messing up. I missed a couple of blocks, reacted too slowly to new ones. So I was about a third filled when a seat opens up and she sits down.

Buckethead's Jordan started playing and all of a sudden I was clearing house. My screen cleared up by the time I reached Woodlands, but my new fan was already on another channel.

Attention's a hell of a drug.

Posting On The Job

2008-08-20T16:04:00.001+08:00

So the gorgeous Lady Luck decided to give me a very light peck on the cheek, I now have work! After three whole months of slacking (among other stuff) I now report to a location every morning once again.

It's a simple admin-esque job at Yellow Pages. It's not bad. Pays decent, looking at the location (it's hardly city area). Which means a short journey time too. If all goes well I'll be here until the end of October, maybe even later.

My first job is sorting out faxes and emails. A lot of the letters have been done, and only about eight or nine left. But those are the big ones. It took me the whole of the first day to sort out letters "K" and "P", and the letter "T" through yesterday and until about an hour ago. Now I'm at "A", and I'm not even finished with the initial letter block sorting yet.

I'm seeing so much paper my eyes are getting paper cuts. I only learned about answering calls and stuff yesterday, so I'm answering calls now. But if you call Yellow Pages you'll never find me. Never. Forget about it. Shoo.

I totally overdressed on the first day. I didn't know, obviously. I was wearing a blue shirt and black pants and shoes I hate walking in. Then I come in and the other two were wearing T-shirts and jeans. So I come in yesterday with the same. Hurray for "Dress Code: None"! As for footwear, anything that doesn't cover the whole of a man's foot is considered inappropriate. Anybody intelligent enough to figure out the chills from an air-con environment wouldn't even consider flip flops.

I was on my way back yesterday when I came across this incredibly cute girl. No, let me finish. She was with a couple of friends a guy and a girl, and then they started talking about how the two girls don't touch the holding poles and bars because how "so many people touched it before". I was about to roll my eyes when the train rocked a little and one of them ended up on the handle (yeah, nobody touches those) and the cute one pinched the pole. With her thumb and index finger. Like picking up a bug. Or saying a very cheesy "Okay".

By the way she talks with a bit of slang. That's all I'm saying, that's all I'm saying.

I should mention how I much I will begin to hate the morning MRT crowd. It's a pain in the arse I tell you. Especially since that stupid Bishan thing. Now everybody squeezes on the train at Bishan, then it's damn near impossible for me to secure a quick exit at Braddell without some heavyduty excuse-meing.

Oh lookie here. An hour and a half before the day's over. I hope it goes really, really quickly.

Starspotting

2008-08-03T20:43:00.004+08:00

****

So I watched Jack Neo's latest movie, Money No Enough 2, yesterday evening with eleven other Judokas young and old (making it the largest personal group movie outing I've ever been in), and I'd admit I wasn't prepared for what it brought me.

It was, like most of Jack Neo's movies, filled with inside jokes that can only be shared by Singaporeans, and the performances of the cast were outstanding (despite the lack of proper appreciation by the audience I was with).

What was really special about this movie was when, halfway through the movie, when a CG F1 race was about start, I noticed something very familiar on the big screen. When you see it in the trailer I included above the race has started, so let me just show you the screen shot.

I'm not sure if you'd notice it, depending on who you are, so let's zoom in.

If you're still confused, I'll put it in perspective.

Holy shit it's Voon! How the heck did he get in there?! He even has a girlfriend for fuck's sake.

I have to say that he is the first person I personally know who has made it to the big screen. I am so proud.

Excuse me while I contact him for an autograph.

Why So Serious?

2008-07-21T04:15:00.004+08:00

****

So I managed to catch the movie of the year on Saturday night. Somebody was late for it and we missed like the first few minutes of it. See la all your fault. Now I have to go watch it again.

And it seems many people already did, John being one of them. It's been breaking box office record after record after record, and it's not just a moneymaker too.

It has scored very highly among reviewers and the public alike, and while ignoring the fanboys that has gone "ZOMG BEST MOVIE EVAR", the film has scored so far an average of 9.7 out of 10 in IMDb from almost 47,000 votes by its users, a 94% on Rotten Tomatoes based on the percentage of positive reviews by its list of critics, and has scored an 82 on Metacritic based on reviews in their list of professional publications weighted according to size and prominence.

**WARNING: Spoilers ahead***

All I can say about it is that it's been a long time since I've been this captivated by a movie. The atmosphere was great, Heath Ledger really was something to behold and for a long time it seemed less and less a comic book superhero movie.

The focus was all on the Joker, and nobody cared. Everybody wanted to know what he was going to do next, why he does things he does. You would just sit there and you'll be waiting to see what he does next. Then how Batman reacts.

The big theme in this movie was the power or futility of the whole concept of civilisation. Joker's point went through when he asked Harvey Dent to see what he did with some barrels of gasoline and a few bullets.

A very powerful scene involved two ferries filled with people, one with prisoners and one with civilians, being forced by the Joker to choose between themselves, and when the time came up one of the prisoners took the detonator and threw it out the window. I saw it coming, but it just stunned me for a second.

Aaron Eckhart gave an outstanding performance as Harvey Dent, later known as Two-Face, throughout the movie. I almost feel a little sorry for him, seeing how the Joker became the overall focus and point of accolade towards the movie.

It's a wonderful movie and anybody should watch it. Or even the second or third time. Hopefully the IMAX here has it.

The iPhone is a piece of shit and so is your face

2008-07-17T19:42:00.001+08:00

Because it is. And the LG Secret looks so much better.

110 Million

2008-07-10T22:45:00.005+08:00

『思い出は億千万』
[Omoide wa Okkusenman]
Memories of 110 Million

子供の頃　やった事あるよ色褪せた記憶だ　
kodomo no koro yatta koto aru yo iroase ta kioku da
I've done this when I was a kid, it's a faded memory

紅白帽　頭に
kouhaku bou atama ni
A red and white cap on my head

ウルトラマン　ウルトラマン　セブン
URUTORAMAN URUTORAMAN SEBUN
Ultraman Ultraman Seven

子供の頃　懐かしい記憶カレーとかの時に
kodomo no koro natsukashii kioku KARĒ toka no tokini
When I was a kid, a fond memory, when I eat curry and stuff

銀のスプーン目にあて
gin no SUPUN meni ate
Silver spoons on my eyes

ウルトラマン　ウルトラマン　セブン
URUTORAMAN URUTORAMAN SEBUN
Ultraman Ultraman Seven

でも今じゃそんな事も忘れて
demo ima ja sonna koto mo wasurete
But now I've forgotten all that

何かに追われるように　毎日生きてる
nanika ni owa reru youni mainichi iki teru
And I'm living each day like I'm being chased by something

振り返っても（忘れていたアルバムの中に）
furi kaette mo (wasurete ita ARUBAMU no uchi ni)
Even if I look back (in the forgetten photo album)

あの頃には（馬鹿やってる自分）
ano koro ni wa (baka yatteru jibun)
I can't go back to those times (photos of myself doing stupid things)

戻れない（友達と笑って）
modore nai (tomodachi to waratte)
Anymore (laughing with friends)

ウルトラマン　ウルトラマン　セブン
URUTORAMAN URUTORAMAN SEBUN
Ultraman Ultraman Seven

今あいつら　どこに居るの？　
ima aitsura doko ni iru no?
Where are those guys now?

何をしているの？
nani wo shite iru no?
What are they doing?

答えはぼやけたままで
kotae wa boya keta mama de
The answer is still unclear

ウルトラマン　ウルトラマン　セブン
URUTORAMAN URUTORAMAN SEBUN
Ultraman Ultraman Seven

でも今じゃそんな事も忘れて
demo ima ja sonna koto mo wasurete
But now I've forgotten all that

何かに追われるように　毎日生きてる
nanika ni owa reru youni maichini iki teru
And I'm living each day like I'm being chased by something

君がくれた勇気は　億千万　億千万
kimi gakure ta yuuki wa okkusenman okkusenman
The courage you gave me was 110 million 110 million

過ぎ去りし季節は　ドラマティック
sugi sarishi kisetsu wa DORAMATIKKU
The seasons that have passed were dramatic

子供の頃　やった事あるね
kodomo no koro yatta koto aru ne
I've done this when I was a kid

雑誌に付いてきた　３Ｄメガネかけ
zasshi nitsuite kita SURĪDĪ MEGANE kake
Wearing the 3D glasses that came with magazines

ウルトラマン　ウルトラマン　セブン
URUTORAMAN URUTORAMAN SEBUN
Ultraman Ultraman Seven

大人になり　忘れてた記憶
otona ni nari wasurete ta kioku
Memories we've forgoteten as we grew up

蘇る　鮮やかに　
yomigaeru azayaka ni
Revive vividly

腕でＬ字作り
ude de ERU ji tsukuri
Making an 'L' with our arms

ウルトラマン　ウルトラマン　セブン
URUTORAMAN URUTORAMAN SEBUN
Ultraman Ultraman Seven

でも今じゃそんな事も忘れて
demo ima ja sonna koto mo wasurete
But now I've forgotten all that

何かに追われるように　毎日生きてる
nanika ni owa reru youni maichini iki teru
And I'm living each day like I'm being chased by something

振り返っても（古ぼけた日記帳　開き）
furi kaette mo (furubo keta nikkichou hiraki)
Even if I look back (opening the aged diary)

あの頃には（色褪せた　ページには）
ano koro ni wa (iroase ta PĒJI ni wa)
I can't go back to those times (on the faded pages)

戻れない（初恋の娘の名前）
modore nai (hatsukoi no musune no namae)
Anymore (the name of my first crush)

ウルトラマン　ウルトラマン　セブン
URUTORAMAN URUTORAMAN SEBUN
Ultraman Ultraman Seven

ただあの頃　振り返る　
tada ano koro furikaeru
Now I just look back to those times

無邪気に笑えた
mujaki ni warae ta
I was able to laugh innocently

汚れも知らないままに
kegare mo shiranai mama ni
Unaware of impure things

ウルトラマン　ウルトラマン　セブン
URUTORAMAN URUTORAMAN SEBUN
Ultraman Ultraman Seven

でも今じゃそんな事も忘れて
demo ima ja sonna koto mo wasurete
But now I've forgotten all that

何かに追われるように　毎日生きてる
nanika ni owa reru youni maichini iki teru
And I'm living each day like I'm being chased by something

見過ごしてた景色は　億千万　億千万
misugo shite ta keshiki wa okkusenman okkusenman
The scenery I've overlooked was 110 million 110 million

過ぎ去りし季節は　グラフィティ
sugi sarishi kisetsu wa GURAFITĪ
The seasons that have passed were graffiti

君がくれた勇気は　億千万　億千万
kimi gakure ta yuuki wa okkusenman okkusenman
The courage you gave me was 110 million 110 million

過ぎ去りし季節は　ドラマティック
sugi sarishi kisetsu wa DORAMATIKKU
The seasons that have passed were dramatic

Who The Hell Am I Bloody Kidding

2008-07-09T20:25:00.000+08:00

Me, obviously.

Good Job

2008-07-06T23:28:00.004+08:00

***WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD***

Went out yesterday to watch Hancock with some of the judo people. It was, in a way, incredibly disappointing. The beginning was pretty good. It set the tone, told you how much people hated him and vice versa, and his unconventional methods of being a superhero.

So then he saves a guy who has a hot wife with an unusual hatred towards her husband's saviour, and this guy manages to persuade him to take the high road and stop being an asshole (which happens to be his crazy mode trigger word for comedic effect).

We find out eventually that this hot woman is one of his kind, more powerful than him, and used to be his wife ever since 3000 years ago. So the freak tornadoes you saw in the theatrical trailer were caused by an angry ex.

There's no main villain, the hero isn't really one, and not once in the entire movie we actually get to see Hancock do an actual rescue in a fashion only superheroes can muster.

It's quite a bit of a waste of time, but not nearly as bad as Zohan was. It tried, but it didn't work out for it when it deviated from the tried-and-true.

Will Smith still rocks.

Taking the plunge

2008-07-01T20:23:00.002+08:00

And time to look for a job again.

Dammit.

Not Even Death Can Save You From Me

2008-06-28T21:52:00.004+08:00

Just Like Old Times

2008-06-26T22:52:00.002+08:00

I'm still trying to look for a PS3 to borrow or rent. I HAVE TO FINISH MGS4.

Anyway so I went out in the evening after dinner to meet the dudes for basketball. I can feel it all coming back. Or what little there was in the first place. But it's coming back man.

Boom! 3 points from downtown baby!

Familiar Faces

2008-06-25T20:44:00.002+08:00

I was looking at Leo's blog and found that he has done some celeb lookalikes of his. So I thought, let's do mine.

*****

May 2003

Oh look! I actually know most of these guys. Not bad.

*****

November 2006

Ok...

*****

September 2007

The Pavarotti one wins for me. For the open mouth.

*****

October 2007

Hey it's DiCaprio again!

*****

May 2008

The fact that Takashi Sorimachi is in there overwhelms the fact that there are 5 women out of 8, including the one who is old and most similar to me.

*****

5 minutes ago

It's final: I look like a woman.

You Don't Mess With The Zhaohan

2008-06-25T05:01:00.003+08:00

I went into the theatre, got to my seat, and proceeded to wasting almost 2 hours of my time.

Look, I smiled a couple of times. When I did, what went through my mind wasn't "Hahaha oh my god I can't believe they just did that, that's bloody hilarious". That's actually from the bunch of crazy girls sitting beside me. And they weren't thinking it.

The movie consisted mainly of two things: hip thrusts and implied sex. There was also something going on about the Middle-Eastern conflict between Israel and Palestine, that Michelle Obama had the best legs and Cindy McCain wasn't getting any. Oh and a sweet little love story where Zohan ends up with a hot Palestinian chick after he tells her he wants to fuck her brains out.

I'd tell you more, but you've probably seen some sort of variant before anyway. Little Nicky, perhaps. Or Big Daddy. It doesn't matter.

At least it only costed me $6.

Snakes

2008-06-24T03:04:00.002+08:00

You know that post where I said I wished I was stupid? I was sitting on the porcelain throne and then all of a sudden a thought came to me. What the hell was I thinking? I am stupid. Like the mother of my friend Mr. Gump once said, "Stupid is as stupid does." I still have no idea what it really means, but quoting someone famous is always, always impressive.

So I finally got myself some hot Metal Gear Solid 4 action. It's as fun to play as instant noodles is good to eat. You know it isn't good for you, but no matter what anybody says you'll wolf it down just the same. You love it. You want to hate it but you can't and you know it. Everybody tells you that despite Nissin's gentlest suggestions that it was real ramen, it simply wasn't.

My point is that MGS4 is more movie than game. It isn't as movie-like as Indigo Prophecy (or Fahrenheit) was, but it certainly is very lengthy in the cutscenes department. I mean, in a couple of occasions you literally walk a few steps into another cutscene after the last one, or maybe if there were some enemies around you could bust a cap or two into them and then follow the determined path into the next trigger for a lengthy conversation between Snake and some bloke.

I've only completed the first two Acts so far, and it's still rather satisfying. The boss fight wasn't so nice though. It didn't actually feel like a real fight, and the boss was so lame if I were to fight her again I would walk out of it as perfect as Megan Fox.

From what I've heard the rest of the game was going to be even more cutscene-heavy. I'll never be able to understand why if everything were cutscenes, Hideo Kojima had to cut some of the original stuff out so it'll fit in a 50Gb capacity dual-layered Bluray disk.

Some of the cutscenes were pretty irritating at first. When a long one pulls up you'll tend to want to put down your Sixaxis and enjoy the dialogue. But no. Some parts of certain cutscenes have flashbacks going on, so while you listen to David Hayter make his raspy voice even more raspy, you have to watch out for signals to start mashing on the circle button when something nostalgic pops up during conversation.

Something new that happened with this installment was the presence of a player economy. There was no currency on Shadow Moses. No currency on Big Shell. And certainly none in 1960s Soviet Russia. But then all of a sudden in this game you're picking up guns to sell and buying ammo from the menu being manned by a malnutritioned monkey. Need a clip of 5.56mm ammo? That'll be 200 points please, thank you, please come again.

The storyline has put out some very sharp criticisms and views about wars like all the other MGS games have, and this time it's updated to keep up with our modernised ideas of threat and combat. The elderly jokes never end, and you get random pokes from nowhere that'll make you chuckle, but looking like a grimacing Wookie.

It's all in all a great game, but it's really just for the fanboys. For the others who have no idea who Solid Snake is, it's probably better if you played something else like Dynasty Warriors on your PS3. Or Pacman. Or Pong.

Journey

2008-06-16T19:36:00.003+08:00

So the first thing I get from Malaysia is a cut on the lip. Big deal. I also got many other things. Like very tired feet and horrible nails.

I'm watching this nice movie called Pulp Fiction. On my new 22-inch wide-screen LCD monitor. I know, it's a damn old movie. It's only 14 years old. It's nice.

I had a weird dream last night. There were a lot of people in it. A lot of whom I know but would never find in the same room within the next twenty or so alternate universes, but more importantly four girls I have never seen before in my entire life. I remembered being introduced to all of them but no matter how hard I tried I can only recall one: Chloe.

Whatever it means, I have no idea. There are some intricate details I would like to purposely leave out of course. I remember being in that dream, and a then from nowhere a tug from reality. Then I found myself getting up in the middle of some seats on an MRT pulling into Woodlands station.

And then I woke up.

Security

2008-06-14T22:15:00.000+08:00

If you are shopping for jewellery in Kuala Lumpur and you feel a threatening presence outside the door, relax. It's only the security guard standing outside with a 12-gauge shotgun.

Likes and wants

2008-06-11T15:40:00.000+08:00

I like being happy. Everybody likes being happy. Being happy is a nice feeling. It makes the people around you happy. You do good things when you're happy.

I want to be miserable. So miserable that no matter what happens I don't have any expectations. The feeling of knowing exactly what to expect and nothing else. I won't put everything into false hope. I won't When I do I'll never get disappointed. I'll be surprised, but never disappointed.

I like being smart. Everybody likes being smart. Being smart is good. I can point out or think of something faster than a lot of people. You do things efficiently when you're smart.

I want to be stupid. So stupid that I can stop thinking about so many things. The feeling of being absolutely unaware. I won't start projecting the future in my mind. I won't notice the little things that mean so little and yet so much. When I don't I'll stop hesitating and stop doubting and rejecting myself before anything has even happened.

But as the great philosopher Jagger once said: "You can't always get what you want."

21 AC Wins All

2008-06-08T23:50:00.001+08:00

The D&D International Game Day was today. Got to play a nice imbalanced 4th Edition preview adventure, and got two free figurines and a d20 in the process, and so did a friend and three strangers at my table. The girl who has never played D&D before went home with a nice Green Dragon figurine. If the size of it doesn't qualify it for a bigger word.

I also managed to block most of a small white dragon's attacks until it was pelted to death by about twenty magical missiles, crossbow bolts and lances made of pure divine energy.

It's okay, I'll go get a Bahamut one when I find it.

Fury

2008-06-07T23:37:00.002+08:00

Oh fuck yeah.

On towards the next decade

2008-06-05T21:14:00.003+08:00

Today is my birthday.

Gosh I thought I grew out of the whole birthday cake thing. Actually I did, but not the presents thing. I demand more presents! Will it really make a difference if I asked for it nicely?

Somebody I know found this Malaysian Singapore-hating blog, started around the time when Pedra Blanca was awarded to Singapore by the International Court. Since then that blogger has called for a boycott of various Singaporean companies and products, gave an incredible analogy of how Singapore apparently stole the rock from Malaysia, and then stalk Singaporean forums for reactions and then commenting on how we flame everything we dislike.

Okay maybe the last one is true. Although I'm sure most Malaysians, even the ones who aren't idiots who hate Singapore simply for who we are, have the tendency to want to criticise things that they don't agree with, especially when it would have to do with their country.

The last post was signed off with "If you can't accept dissenting views, you deserve to be fed propaganda and screwed. First world country, my a**!!"

I can actually accept dissenting views, not bigoted ones. What this person has written isn't something that is just different in opinion, it is completely devoid of any tolerance or any sound judgment and based entirely on his/her obstinate hatred towards the country.

What if I told you Proton was a lousy car maker just because it's Malaysian? But I wouldn't. Why? Is it because:

a) the argument is bigoted, or
b) the argument is weak as it is lacking in any solid evidence to prove the statement, and the nature of this argument has caused any arguments I would make afterward to be inevitably discredited?

Some people just simply don't deserve any support whatsoever.

Good Will Hunting

2008-06-04T01:05:00.002+08:00

Sean: Thought about what you said to me the other day, about my painting. Stayed up half the night thinking about it. Something occurred to me, fell into a deep peaceful sleep, and haven't thought about you since. Do you know what occurred to me?
Will: No.
Sean: You're just a kid, you don't have the faintest idea what you're talkin' about.
Will: Why thank you.
Sean: It's all right. You've never been out of Boston.
Will: Nope.
Sean: If I asked you about art, you'd probably give me the skinny on every art book ever written. Michelangelo, you know a lot about him. Life's work, political aspirations, him and the pope, sexual orientation, the whole works, right? But I'll bet you can't tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You've never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling; seen that. If I ask you about women, you'd probably give me a syllabus about your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But you can't tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman and feel truly happy. You're a tough kid. And I'd ask you about war, you'd probably throw Shakespeare at me, right? "Once more unto the breach dear friends." But you've never been near one. You've never held your best friend's head in your lap, watch him gasp his last breath looking to you for help. I'd ask you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes, feeling like God put an angel on earth just for you. Who could rescue you from the depths of hell. And you would know what it's like to be her angel, to have that love for her, be there forever, through anything, through cancer. And you wouldn't know about sleeping sitting up in the hospital room for two months, holding her hand, because the doctors could see in your eyes that the terms "visiting hours" don't apply to you. You don't know about real loss, 'cause it only occurs when you've loved something more than you love yourself. And I doubt you've ever dared to love anybody that much. I look at you... I don't see an intelligent, confident man... I see a cocky, scared shitless kid. But you're a genius Will. No one denies that. No one could possibly understand the depths of you. But you presume to know everything about me because you saw a painting of mine, and you ripped my fucking life apart. You're an orphan right?
[Will nods]
Sean: You think I know the first thing about how hard your life has been, how you feel, who you are, because I read Oliver Twist? Does that encapsulate you? Personally... I don't give a shit about all that, because you know what, I can't learn anything from you, I can't read in some fuckin' book. Unless you want to talk about you, who you are. Then I'm fascinated, I'm in. But you don't want to do that do you, sport? You're terrified of what you might say. Your move, chief.

So long

2008-05-26T11:44:00.000+08:00

Mickey seemed to be picking up. He started walking around. He still can't get up on the mini sofa we put out for him though.

He couldn't stand properly when I put him down after carrying him out of my room just now. Practically fell on his face.

Human food used to hold such great appeal for him. Now he appears to reject all food, unless it was shot down his mouth into his throat using a syringe.

I went out and saw him lying in a pool of his own urine. His head is arched back, limbs stretched out. I put my hand on his ribcage.

A heartbeat. He is alive. I took out one of his towels and wiped the urine off him and off the floor. I took a small light and shined it on his eye. Pupil reacted. So he can still see.

Day has broken. He's lying on his sofa in the same position again. My mum woke up. We couldn't tell what it was. She said to wait until my dad came back from work.

I went to sleep.

The next thing I knew my father was telling me that Mickey has passed away.

*****

Eight years ago around this time, a colleague of my mother's had a litter of puppies she wanted to give away for free. My mother took one. It was a Jack Russell with the fur and ears of a Cocker Spaniel, mostly black and white on the belly, ends of his feet and his snout.

His name that was given by the original owner was Prince. When we took him, the colour scheme of his fur prompted my mother to name him Mickey, after the mouse.

He spends most of his time looking for human food, barking at strangers at the door or lying on one of our beds. Sometimes we'll play with him with the bone made of cloth. It was his toy. He would chase and grab it each time he saw it.

He's a very fun dog. It's his terrier personality shining through when he woke me up with a facial on weekend mornings in his earlier days, or when he was stomping on the half-asleep me while being led around by my mum with his toy in the later days when he was older.

Eight years seems a little short for a dog his size. But anybody with a right mind would know that it is inevitable.

Goodbye, Mickey.

En route

2008-05-17T08:09:00.003+08:00

I'm told he has a few weeks to live.

He's frail. And it's as if he has aged years in the two days he has spent in the clinic.

He will live out the last of his days being on a drip, force fed because of his wilted appetite, and so weak he can barely stand or even keep his eyes open.

I spent a lot of time with him, but I never really was his favourite. Most of it weren't spent in interaction or in taking care of his needs.

Every once in a while I would look at him and think to myself "I'm so lucky I have you".

It seems that like everything else, luck runs out sooner or later.

I'll go sleep now, while my parents bring him back to spend his last days here at home instead of a small cage in the clinic surrounded by strangers.

I want to see him when I wake up.

One end is enough

2008-05-16T01:21:00.002+08:00

My stint at The Central as a taxi concierge is concluded. It was a good one and a half months.

Mickey is in hospital. On a drip.

Maybe I'll go see him later today.

Life

2008-05-14T01:06:00.001+08:00

Met an old friend today on the way to work. We weren't really close or anything, just were in the same class in secondary school. We talked. Mostly the usual stuff. Other old friends. Schools, old and new. What we're doing, what we're going to do. The future.

It seems my job ends this Thursday afternoon, but the position won't be vacant it seems. The mall's management will be finally taking over this position, and they're apparently doing up the stand. Looks like the third gen concierge is going to get all blinged up.

I would say that of course it doesn't begin to solve the problem that is the design of the place. It'll be interesting seeing a mall smack dab in the middle of the CBD close down because of lack of human traffic.

I'm looking at Mickey right now. I don't know what to say. He hasn't been eating, and he's getting really weak. I wish I could bring him somewhere, but this stupid job has me tied down for the half of the day where normal people are up treating animals.

Don't you frakking die on me now.

Random is the new Lame

2008-05-13T02:28:00.003+08:00

So I have a shitty job. At least it pays pretty well, considering the job specifications and my qualifications. Thing is, you don't need qualifications to be in this job. You just have to have a sense of direction and know how to use a telephone. A monkey could do this job for bananas.

Lame (or random, the new word for "lame", we'll get to that later) job aside, I'm recently watching an exciting series called "Numb3rs". It's interesting if you are intellectually stimulated by the process in which a college Applied Mathematics professor solves crime using math.

Otherwise you'll just be plain bored.

Does anybody remember when "random" started being used in place of "lame"? I can't really remember but it's not until recently that it has caught momentum and now everybody doing it. I don't know, it just kinda bothers me that nobody really knows where these terms come from. Like "lame", where did that come from? Does anybody remember? Did it replace some other word, like "loser" or a simple "that's not even funny"? And just so you know, the word that replaced "loser" was "noob". Thank the internet for that one.

I now herald the coming of the new word to condescend people when they do something you don't like.

Random is the new Lame.

I just got my pay by the way. It's nice to have one more digit in my balance again.

Battlestar Awesomica

2008-04-26T23:37:00.002+08:00

All this time I have at work, how do I spend it?

I obviously can't sleep. Because I need to be awake to tell people where the fraking toilet is.

So I got myself a PSP. I rush myself through Crisis Core and then realise most of the other games that I found have either disappointed or frustrated me to no end. So I turn to TV shows and I have to say it has been one of my best decisions in a long time.

I'm watching this exciting sci-fi series (heads up Cat) called Battlestar Galactica. What it's about is that humans created a race of robot slaves called Cylons that gained self consciousness, rebelled and nuked the human colonies, killing billions and leaving around fifty thousand survivors aboard a dozen ships, led by a single military capital ship, or a battlestar, named Galactica on a journey to find that one planet that they will call home: Earth.

They cover many issues, but mostly ones that deal with humanity and moral choices like using biological weapons and the recognition of the Cylons as a species despite being machines.

I'm enjoying this show so much also because I'm such a big Wing Commander fanboy. Many good memories.

Damn now I wish they would make a BSG game and make it like WCP or something. With better graphics. And all kinds of videos in the middle.

Oooooh yeah.

Taxi Taxi Taxi

2008-04-13T02:00:00.003+08:00

So I realise it's three weeks since I last updated anything here, so here goes.

A couple of Wednesdays back, I woke up when an unexpected SMS came in the morning. I was to go for an interview at SGH later that afternoon for some admin position. I took a look at the SMS.

It was an urgent call for somebody to fill in this certain position at Clarke Quay. Working hours seemed long, but it paid $1400. So I thought, why the heck not. I expressed interest and just a half hour later I was on a train to Clarke Quay.

I had minimal trouble finding the place. It was just above the station itself. It did take a while before I met my supervisor. He explained the job to me, and it seemed pretty simple to me. Actually, it was. The bad things about the job were really the hours and the huge luck factor.

Allow me to explain.

The hours of the job is 11am to 10pm. Although most of the time is spent slacking around and watching TV shows on the laptop provided, it is really the most screwed up timing one can get. It's exactly when shops open until after they close. Which means there's zero time to do anything during the weekdays, except going to pubs or whatnot on Friday nights.

This means my weekends have at least tripled in value. Anything that I intend to do that only can be done between 10am to 11pm have to be put into the weekends. This includes shopping for miscellaneous items, or sleep, or play with the 360 I temporarily swapped with my Wii for.

Now the luck factor I mentioned. This job requires me to get taxis for anybody who wants them. I sit just beside the taxi stand so it should be easy right? No. Due to some blockage in the brain by the mall's designer, the taxi stand has been placed in the basement. Lack of signs and having the entrance to the basement right at the end of a single-lane U-turn road causes taxis to be so rare only about five actually come in on their own in a day. And sometimes they come in because the driver wanted to use the toilet (conveniently placed within 2o steps of my location).

I end up telling most people who wait there to either go to the Hotel across the road, or call for one. Sometimes I try to get the security guard upstairs (if there is one stationed there at all) to get one down for me, and sometimes I don't get any response so it just makes my job very hard.

On my second day it rained during the peak hour and some of the customers ended up waiting up to an hour for their cabs. And it was only for the ones I called too. It always seems that the ones I call are the ones who either can't find their way here or took a wrong turn somewhere and gave up.

Speaking of poor design, I suspect my job was actually due to it. Now the mall was divided into two, with the retail outlets on one side and restaurants on another. They were split and accessed each other through a single lane through the middle that, on the shop side, was so inconspicuous it looks like just another shop

The escalators were mainly at the restaurant area (called The Atrium), and they were all over the place. The one leading to level 2 was half hidden in the back, The one to level 3 in the middle, level 2 to 3 at the side and another one down to the basement that led to nowhere.

In the basement, I sit beside the taxi stand, which is also just under the B1 to 1 escalator. Despite this many people still ask me how to go up and where the nearest escalator was. Remember the toilet being 20 steps away from me? People ask me where that is too. The lift is located right in the middle of the level, but some people couldn't find it. The way to the MRT station was just straight down, but like all the others the lack of signs make shoppers go dizzy trying to navigate around.

On Friday I printed up a couple of signs and pasted them on the front of my booth. One was an arrow pointing to the escalator behind me, and one pointing to the toilet 20 steps away to my right. It was working pretty fine, and stayed there through the weekends until Tuesday when a clipboard wielding lady being followed by two men walked past the booth and noticed them. She angrily demanded of me the person responsible for making the two pieces of paper stuck with sticky tape she refers to as "signage". I stuttered and stammered for about 4 seconds before she tore them off abruptly and then told me it wasn't allowed. One of the guys passed the torn pieces of paper to me, and she stormed off, leaving me to remove the sticky tape that were rolled up to simulate double-sided tape.

It left me with two questions in my mind:

- Was my job in danger?
- What was the thing that made her mad, the fact that pasting a couple of pieces of paper that showed directions was gravely violating some regulation, or that in terms doing something like providing simple like directions, a guy with the internet and a printer could be more efficient than a corporation with a multi-million-dollar budget?

It left me with an expression between a frown of fear and a smirk, and I realise now that I should have taken a photo of that expression.

I'll see you in a few more weeks.

Sentosa & Guitar Hero 3

2008-03-26T16:05:00.000+08:00

Last week I met up with these ladies:

Picture taken using my awesome G800.

We were on a little trip to Sentosa. Sun, sand and sea. But noooooooooo. We ended up drenched in the rain (my favourite part) and with my pack of cards which I regretted throwing away (least favourite).

Let's start over.

A week before the day, the proposed time was to meet at 7.30 AM. Then the night before it was changed to 9 AM, and by the time Cat joined me and Gabby at the station it was around 9.30. Some time later we got onto the cab Christel came in and zoomed our way right into Sentosa. We were one person short, because he *cough*Jyaas*cough* ended up sleeping late and apparently had something on that day. So we got there on the taxi, me seated in the front, while the girls in the back posed for that picture above and, of all things, started grabbing Cat's boobs.

The beach was pretty empty when we got there, save a few foreigners who I assume to be tourists. The original plan was to kayak despite my bitter complains, but a short walk up and down the beach made us discover that we have no found the kayaking location, and have landed up on the wrong beach. Damn you, girl-at-entrance-who-told-us-it-was-at-Tanjong-Beach!

It was only a few seconds after we discovered our status of being in the wrong place that we also discovered our status of being at the wrong time. It was pouring soon after, and we had to keep our belongings sheltered under a giant umbrella before we laid down under another one. We ended up talking a lot about porn, of all things and we decided to play a game of 99 in the rain. With my favourite deck. Naturally, it ended up soaked and peeling, and despite my best efforts of drying it with the hand dryer, it was left ugly and bloated and I threw it out on the way back to the main island.

Which, till today, I regret.

We had lunch in the ThaiExpress in Vivo. All sorts of spicy stuff, but it was good. We split up after, so me and Gabby went home while the other two stayed because they had something else later in the evening, and with a promise to come over to my place the following week for some Guitar Hero funness.

*****

Yesterday I had guests! Cat and Gabby dropped by, but almost 2 hours later than initially suggested (again), and I've not seen so much fear inspired by Mickey since a very, very long time.

They brought a bagload of food here, and proceeded to playing the awesome game that is Guitar Hero 3. I shall leave the painful details of maniacal laughter and other acts of madness out, for the benefit of the normal, sane reader.

Baizura came later, followed by a spontaneous appearance of Joseph. We had more fun, and we decided against the movie because it was a little late, and we went to Al Ameen for dinner. It was incredible seeing how much food the two crazy women ordered, while I shared a stingray with Jo. Conversation topics flew all over the place, including young shotgun marriages (funny we always talk about sex) and the incident they had the last time they were here.

All was fun until I had to rush home because of a stomachache of a magnitude I have not experienced in years. Not pretty.

Skeet skeet skeet skeet skeet

2008-03-18T00:16:00.002+08:00

Get Low is an awesome song.

Old Chang Kee pepper puffs are also awesome.

The word "awesome" is awesome.

Awesome.

****

So like I went for a short interview today at Gleneagles Hospital for some temp job. Was good. Got there too early though, and had to end up waiting about 40 minutes between filling out the form and actually seeing someone.

The job was half manual half clerical, so I hope they choose me over that skinny monkey who went in first.

There was a huge book fair outside Plaza Singapura, so I went in and took a look. There were a lot of books, all going for only $5. I didn't recognise most of them, except for a rare copy of Robert Ludlum's 'The Bourne Ultimatum'. Too bad they didn't have The Bourne Legacy.

I eventually took two books, Robert Ludlum's 'The Bancroft Strategy' and a book with a story set in the Forgotten Realms of Dungeons & Dragons lore. So I sat down outside Starbucks and read a bit before Cat arrived and we went for lunch. After lunch I told her about the books and she went to grab a couple for herself. Then we took the MRT back and went separate ways.

I came back and I passed out.

Everything else that happened after is irrelevant. Hope I get the job.

Brawl is Lawl

2008-03-14T03:00:00.002+08:00

Two (ok three) days ago I went to CMPB for my medical. I was just slightly surprised about how many things you had to do there; from measuring your your own shoulder length with a measuring tape (and by yourself somehow) to having your hearing checked in a weird soundproof chamber to going in to see the doctor and the first thing you do is taking off your pants to doing weird logic and math tests on a computer about 13 years old.

My PES was not determined however, I have a pending heart examination at Alexandra (which reminds me, I should ask a friend in Nursing how to go) because my chest X-ray report from 2005 said I might have something. Oh goody, imagine I do have something. Hi, Pes E! Otherwise I'm hoping for a C. I will die in B, I swear.

So today I found out my Wii was made with a newer board and thus modding would cost a freaking bomb. I took it back and went up to Tecdrome to buy Super Smash Bros. Brawl. It's really quite a fun game, but it's still sort of a party game because it's only really fun when you have 4 players together.

It's really my only regret ever since getting the Wii; it being a console full of party games and me having a life that's the antithesis of the word "party". I really should have just gotten a secondhand PS2 from somewhere and borrow games from whoever.

But then I would not have Guitar Hero 3. Oh wait it'll still be on the PS2 too, but sooner or later it'll just be cycled out for the PS3 for later games.

Oh well.

BC means Bull Crap

2008-03-06T22:29:00.002+08:00

I went out today with the guys to watch 10000 BC. Let's get to that later.

So we met for lunch, but I already had it so we just talked while they ate. Talked about many things, and Gerald showed me what Pata Pon was about, and I got to see the PSP God of War game courtesy of Voon. It's quite interesting how the sex mini-game from the first God of War was also in this one.

So then we went up to see the movie. I had no clue how disappointed I was going to be. I have to honest. This movie sucks. And its promotional materials were very misguiding. You see the sabre-tooth the man with a spear is fending off in the poster? That sabre-tooth only appeared for a grand total of about a minute, and all the fighting it did was in the water during a rain when it almost drowned until our hero saves it. Then it appears later in a village our hero goes to, and it recognises him and decides to go off.

That's not even that bad.

We start with a bunch of people who are a little confused about who they are because they spoke in three different accents in the scenes.

Did I mention our hero has a father who left his village and was seen as a traitor until one day his mentor decides to tell him that his father was a visionary who left the village to seek new lands? At one point I almost believed the ultimate bad guy whom he killed was his father.

Of course this dude from a village of people sporting rastaman 'dos might seem like the central point of the story, but the real main character is this hot blue eyed chick they picked up when he was a boy and their loneliness brought them together. Girl approaches Boy. Boy pledges his love by a star. Boy and Girl falls and drowns in the river of Love.

So they grew up and one day a big bunch of horse-riding whities came in and went around capturing people, and of course the girl get captured and the boy of course decides to go after her, despite unable to track them in the bloody snow.

When our hero sets out to find his lost friends, I started to feel like I was in a bloody Final Fantasy sequel. You have the brash main character, the old mentor figure, and this young lad who knows nothing decides to follow along because his mother was killed in the raid. Now all it needs is a healer girl in a white robe.

The movie uses the single most overused plot mechanism, and especially in computer and video games set in the fantasy or sci-fi genres, the prophecy. And it's not just one, no. There were a whole three of them. The first one was acceptable, the second one had everybody laughing and by the time the third one appeared I could feel the massive amount of rolled eyes in the audience, including my own.

Let's talk about the geography. I'm rather curious about how you have miles and miles of snow covered mountains (where our protagonist comes from) and then all of a sudden you're in an overgrown tropical rainforest populated by giant man-eating dodos, and then only about another few klicks out you're in a desert populated by about a dozen different African tribes, who, after the movie's second prophecy came true, decides to join him in a big army to take down this god-king-like figure named Xerxes. Actually he wasn't named but he was also about a hundred metres tall and his voice was about as deep as voices could ever go.

I have concluded that the movie was made as an inside joke of the producers and the writers. It was as if they were sitting in the board room and throwing off ideas and somebody decided to include all of them just for the heck of it.

Anyway so I guess nobody comes around here anymore. You know that means you have to tag or comment to let me know you bloody exist, Mr./Ms./Mdm. Readership.

I'm listening to various Chopin pieces now. They're from these CDs I bought in Taiwan. And I actually recognise a few. Not bad.

Hot Ass

2008-03-04T02:06:00.002+08:00

Have you wondered why, after eating spicy food, your anus burns after you take a dump? Well, I have. Probably because my ass is paying the price for the laksa I had for dinner earlier on.

Let's see you get that mental image off your mind. Gotcha!

You know, there are quite a few people in this world that make me want to stick a knife in their throats. Mostly because the majority of them are fictional, and sticking a knife in throats hasn't been an idea floating around until I seen Assassin's Creed. As for the rest of these people, this excuse for a human being is one of them:

This is even worse than the dolphin killing in Japan videos I've seen. They were dolphins, the methods were cruel at best, but they were killed for their meat. For food. This puppy...

Efforts have been made by several more enthusiastic members of the online community to find out the identity of this man in question, and most people have confirmed that he is indeed one David Motari, a US Marine from Seattle, Washington.

A quick search of his name on Google has his bebo account as the first result that has several comments chiding him for his apparent actions, the other results were a list of articles featuring the video from social news sites filled with comments that has effectively labeled him a puppy killer.

I have made my decision, and I leave it to you to decide what to make of this.

This has also reminded me of a certain experiment done by scientists in the early 70s in Stanford University. It's a perfect demonstration of the absolute corruption of power.

Wawawewow

2008-02-25T21:40:00.002+08:00

I found this awesome looking animated short on Youtube via Digg:

All done by one person. Wow.

Anyway so I got a new phone yesterday, the Samsung SGH-G800.

User reviews vary of course, like many other things. The most important thing about this phone is of course its 5 megapixel camera which has been proven to be overall better than its main rivals, the Sony Ericsson K850i and the Nokia N95.

Some of my closer friends would of course be surprised by this sudden decision to purchase a Samsung product but a quick look at the prices and hearing the complaints about Nokia and Sony phones have put me off their high-end models.

I'm not buying it for the sake of buying of course, my previous phone had a few problems and the lad at the counter was thankfully a trade-in noob and didn't spot them. It cut the price down for this new phone by about a third, so it looked so much better.

It has a solid metallic look to it, and nice large buttons unlike the itty bitty ones on the K850i. It also helped that it didn't use a unique form of storage like all the other Sony products do, and uses a standard microSD card as storage.

The camera activates with a flick of the lens cover that would remind many of digicams. It's camera button on the side would also do that same thing, perhaps a reminder from the designers that it was a more camera than phone.

It's worked pretty fine as a phone so far. Keying numbers for dialing automatically sends a search for all contacts containing that combination, and I welcomed it as a new Samsung user.

Whether it will turn out to be a better phone than the ones I've used before remains to be seen.

*****

I went out to watch Jumper with Jo, Leo and Ivy today.

I'm sure you've seen it, but here's the trailer anyway:

If you haven't seen the movie, I'm sure you think it looks awesome. To tell you the truth, it does. It looks awesome. For those who were looking for any plot, you better jump somewhere else. John was right, it was ridiculous.

Spoilers ahead, so don't say I didn't warn you.

Say you're David Rice. You jumped all your life everywhere, living it up with money you stole from banks. Of course one day it catches you in the ass and now you have paladins after your ass. What do you do, as an obnoxious know-it-all American? Why, you take the girl of your dreams on a tour in Rome of course! But then they try to get you. Then you get away because you met a British jumper who has been hunting the paladins instead.

He manages to jump big things around like cars and buses because he practiced. He casually mentions another jumper who tried to jump a building and failed. What happens?

You find out that the paladins are going to kill your girl. You literally follow the Brit around like a kid, begging for help until he agrees. Then you find out about his base. Then you bring your girlfriend there from her apartment. Paladins arrive and end up opening a wormhole through your "jump scar" and after a big fight.

Remember when the Brit saved you? He used a baseball bat. And now? He has a flamethrower and at one point jumps a double-decker on Roland's ass but somehow never thought about getting a fucking gun.

So then the paladins catch your girl. They lay a trap. The Brit tells you that and decides he wants to nuke them while they are concentrated in one place. Obviously you disagree. You end up jumping around with his bomb with him following you going "Give it back!" like a couple of 5-year-olds until he gets stuck in a bunch of cables in the middle of Chechen.

Remember when he said the guy who tried jumping a building was fucking nuts? You brave the trap and do it of course! And being the all powerful American superhero, great success, you get the girl and you dispose of Roland in a random cave in the middle of the Grand Canyon.

Excuse me while I go strangle myself.

Youth Olympics 2010

2008-02-21T23:15:00.001+08:00

It's official: Singapore will be hosting the first ever Youth Olympics, beating the other finalist Moscow of Russia in a vote by the International Olympic Committee based in Switzerland. Isn't it weird that it isn't in Greece? I mean, both the Committee and the Games. Since it was, you know, created there? Anyway, the evening news on Channel 8 says the country expects about 5,000 participants from countries all over the world to be here in the year 2010. The lodging of the competitors is being built as extended campus ground of NUS. The competitors would be around the ages of 14 to 18.

I'm sorry, what? "Yeaaaa" and everything but come on. If you'll do me a favour, walk out and pull out some random secondary school students and ask them what they think. No, go ahead. The most common response would probably be along the lines of "Oh, really? That's good then. Good for Singapore." But what they actually think would be along the lines of "Oh, really? So what?"

Honestly, I don't hate this country. I've actually tried to talk one of my friends who do to do otherwise, but to no result. Our youths don't hate this country either. But it doesn't mean they love it with a fervor that would make a rabid evangelist look pale in comparison. No offence to my Christian friends, I'm sure you know what I mean.

My point is that nobody cares. At least not the ones who should. It's the bloody Youth Olympics, and the only people who are excited about it are the old people who are spending all their time organising the committee and sending the proposal and everything. Granted, it's supposed to be like this but I really don't see any enthusiasm from the youths. If anything, I'll bet at least some of the local competitors are going "Oh fuck there's goes my trip to Russia." At least two of my friends agree and one of them said it should have gone to Moscow just because it'd be interesting to see all the sad faces on the Padang.

Sports has never been an imperative in our society and culture. Sure, there's the whole keeping fit thing like every other country has and the Singapore Workout but there's no national sport. Okay, maybe not that much but at least a sport where you have local teams and everyone would watch every week and talk about it in their office or in the coffeeshop or in school.

There's not a single sport that this country has monopolised, and especially not when we have ESPN. Soccer? The English Premier League. Golf? The PGA Tour. Tennis? All the different 'open's. Basketball? The NBA. And all we have is the S-League and in comparison it's like watching a bunch of barefooted teenagers playing with an old ball in a state field, and all the spectators are their friends.

The real reason behind the unpopularity of sports is the career prospects. It's just like pursuing a career in art. First of all, it's vague. Second, if you wanted any income whatsoever you have to be at least the top quarter of the country. Third, even if you were the top in the country you're not even earning what the middle half in other countries earn. To put this in perspective, an English Division One player earns maybe a thousand or two thousand quid a week. The top S-League players earn about three to four thousand dollars a month.

All this effort into sports this country is putting in is like the neighbourhood rich kid who sucks in basketball but uses his money to build a basketball court to let the poorer kids play even though he knew he'd just end up buried in the middle of the spectators anyway. Everybody would be saying how generous he is and how he is contributing to the neighbourhood but they'll all be sniggering behind his back, knowing all he wants is people to like him.

But you have to eventually admit that it is good for the economy because of the tourists that it will definitely bring, and for the guys my age entering NUS after NS that means a whole bunch of hot 17-year-old gymnasts wandering around the campus when they're not balancing on a piece of wood or doing a number of somersaults that would make an average man faint.

Love Actually

2008-02-14T22:16:00.002+08:00

I just finished watching the movie with my sis. Now I have an overwhelming desire to practise my English accent on someone. And I don't even know which part of England I'm from. Now I'm just reading everything I see to myself with the accent.

Well I'm sure you all know what today is. Valentine's Day is just that. A day. Plenty of people say it's overrated, plenty more treat it like the only reason to ever do anything for their... Significant others.

And I'm not even in the position to say these things. For fairly obvious reasons.

Well that's all I have tonight. See you... Soon.

I feel you... Joanna...

2008-02-08T04:11:00.000+08:00

The first day of the new year. Same as every year, but that doesn't make it bad. Well, almost the same.

This year I managed to play a bit mahjong with the cousins. It was smaller than the eve's session of course. This time I won a bit, but winning is winning.

Spent the rest of the afternoon and the evening taking a nap, before heading back out to Causeway Point for Sweeney Todd with Cat and Christel. I went early to get tickets, and spent some time in Timezone before Cat arrived first. I realised how crappy a driver I've become, because it was either that or I still can't get used to the lower steer ratio of Tuned.

Anyway so Cat came first and we (she) spent some time bitching about school, and then playing Bingo while we waited for Christel. Then Christel arrived and we played another quick one before heading in for the movie.

They. Are. Phenomenal.

For about a third of movie, the two of them were busying giggling and laughing at everything Johnny "omg-marry-me" Depp was doing, and at Cohen's bump among many other things, like the part where the girly chap sings about feeling Joanna from street to graveyard to asylum.

It was a great movie honestly. It's been a long, long time since I watched something this long that had so many songs in them. Johnny Depp is still bloody good, but seeing his face twitch during one of the scenes just had to remind me of Captain Jack Sparrow.

Here's the trailer:

Go ahead and watch it, if you can handle watching a movie where everybody sings (yes, even Alan Rickman) and a lot of fake looking but nevertheless messy blood.

Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare - Zero Punctuation

2008-02-07T18:26:00.000+08:00

You can see the original here.

The sequences in the game also blew my mind when they happened. The ending wasn't very bad, but it was rather abrupt.

Kingdoms Lost and Won

2008-02-06T23:55:00.000+08:00

We're about heading into the new lunar year very soon and let me state one last thing: I suck at gambling.

Phenomenally.

I lost about hundred dollars in about three hours, and times where I actually run out of chips and I have to borrow them. From the person I actually lost the money to in the end. Who is my own mother. So now I owe her a hundred buckaroos and here's to hoping she forgets about it. *cross fingers*

I've never really researched (I have noticed of course) the skill involved in gambling and I have been told I have a lousy poker face. That's because I don't actually have one, so you know. Apparently every thing's written all over my face.

Thankfully, if I'm going to be playing for the next few days, it's not going to seasoned pros like the ones I faced earlier today who gave me a thorough ass whipping, but seasonal rookies who play for the heck of it during the holidays. Unfortunately all they ever play is a weird distorted local version of Blackjack where no real skill is involved and I have the worst luck in the world.

Hopefully I'll be enjoying the home ground advantage over the poor losers. Of course, that being if there are actually people who are going to come.

And it so happens that I have received my awesome letter from CMPB! I have a medical checkup scheduled in March and pray that I fail and I can skip NS okay? Thanks a lot!

Also, I am not gay, never attempted suicide, and do not have any tattoos.